It's depressing...
Thinking about my failures, my assertions that aren't based on facts, and the idea that what I want can't and won't happen.
I'm a stubborn mess.
When what I want becomes a "never gonna happen" occurrence... I lack the faith and strength to rise above it.
Yet I do it.
I plug in my headphones... I listen to some music... I write.
It helps me stay neutral.
It helps me combat the embarrassment my disorder is.
It helps me stay... happy.
I need to stay happy no matter what's going on in my life. If I lose track of my strengths, I fall victim to an uncertain future.
I need to build a future, not fix a past.
I'll fight towards a better tomorrow.
Always.
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