introspection definition

Introspection (in-truh-spek-shuh n) - noun

1) observation or examination of one's own mental and emotional state, mental processes, etc.; the act of looking within oneself.
2) the tendency or disposition to do this.
3) sympathetic introspection


Wednesday, December 28, 2016

To Carrie

This was hard to read... But beautiful.

Every night I go to bed the same way.  I plug my phone in.  I start writing.  And I turn on Family Guy.

This is how I sleep every night.  Falling asleep to jokes. 

Tonight would be no different...

Until...

Angela started telling Peter about his promotion to forklift operator.

Now... I watched her old interviews today.  I saw picture after picture. 

But hearing her familiar voice and knowing... I'd never hear a new Angela joke...

My heart broke.

This was a woman I related to in a number of ways. 

She was the first person I knew as Princess.  Now my daughter is one.

She was a writer.  I do this with vigor everyday.

Her Family Guy jokes became like a dulcet tone to me each and every night.

But most of all...

We were both bipolar.

She was my secret heroine.  My confidential confidant.  The celebrity I thought of first when I thought this disorder would define me forever.

I didn't know her.  I know she was Leia Organa of Alderaan.  I know she wrote Wishful Drinking.  That she was a nun in Jay and Silent Bob.  The Editor at the Daily Planet (briefly).  I know nothing of her beyond the screen. 

But I will always feel a special connection to this remarkable woman who was, like she was to Obi-Wan, my only hope.

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