Why shouldn't I trust Trump over the media? That's a tough one, but I'll take a shot.
Say I'm watching a Trump speech. He starts talking about a story, something nobody else has said. Maybe I take his word and maybe I repeat it. And I'm real happy with myself, cause I repeated my President well. But maybe that story was was about a made up terror attack...
*Cut to Sean's office*
... in Bowling Green or Sweden. Once enough people repeat the story, enough fear is generated and used to justify bombing a village where nobody did anything and fifteen hundred people I never met, never had no problem with, get killed. Now the Trump administration gets caught in their lie and start sayin', "Oh, well Benghazi/Hillary/Emails/Fake News" to justify starting a war cause they don't give a shit. It won't be them over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't Trump when his number got called, cause he had 3 deferments for college and 1 for bad feet. It'll be some former journalist from CNN takin' shrapnel in the ass.
And he'll come back to find that the network he used to work at was censored by the President he just got back fighting for. And the only media now is The Trump News Network, cause the propaganda team is forced to work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile, he realizes the only reason the media was attacked in the first place was so Trump could replace the government with a dictatorship. And, of course, Rex Tillerson of Exxon used the skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for him, but it ain't helping my buddy at 6 dollars a gallon.
Now Trump is takin' his sweet time bringin' the troops back, of course, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring a Neo Nazi domestically who likes to march in the streets and fuckin' attacks anyone with a last name like Goldberg, and it ain't too long 'til he interns them, launches nukes, and kills all life in the Northern hemisphere. So now a lot of folks are dead except radioactive folks who are "alive," and Trump is still tweeting from his bunker, which sucks cause the people who are alive are sick of this pain in the ass who's givin' them chronic headaches. And meanwhile they're starvin', cause every time they try to get a bite to eat, the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with 3 eyes.
So what do I think? I'm trusting someone better. I figure fuck it, while I'm at it why not just eradicate the Bill of Rights, start a national media outlet, call all other media the sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, Tweet things that aren't real, nuke the world and start the first American National Reich? I could be elected the Führer.
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