introspection definition

Introspection (in-truh-spek-shuh n) - noun

1) observation or examination of one's own mental and emotional state, mental processes, etc.; the act of looking within oneself.
2) the tendency or disposition to do this.
3) sympathetic introspection


Sunday, November 20, 2011

Journal Entry: Honesty is the best policy. Sometimes.

Scratch that... always.

If you can be honest, try to be.  Where I'm concerned, I try to be honest at all times and I've suffered because of that simple fact.  I'm not going to change anytime soon, but I've found the confidence to be able to honest and not be affected if someone doesn't agree.

I used to be a people pleaser... it was VASTLY important to me if someone felt the same as I did... and if they did, I had to try and CONVINCE them to think the same.  This was immature but hell... so was I.

When I started to point out my foibles... my follies... and stopped letting it kill me...  I was affected in a positive way.  I saw these as guidances... lessons necessary for positive change.  It may have affected me at my core, but not in a bad way.  The important aspects of my life didn't change... just the way I reacted to them... the way I perceived them.

Life is infinitely more complicated than I've just described of course.  For everyone, the life lessons are different.

But there's NOTHING wrong with that.  The way we perceive any given event is important... because it's important to us.  That's the ball game guys and gals.  Game over man, game over.

I may say "A rolling stone gathers no moss" and find a deep realization that may be lost on my brother... but then he may find a DEEPER realization that pertains more to his life.  Or hell, maybe he'll say "Rolling Stones!  I love that band!"

Whatever we find, that's what we take.  I used to take the worst and turned it into the worst.  Now I take it all... and turn it into a learning experience.  Into something that makes me happy.  No matter the situation.

I'm different... but not in a bad way.  Just in a different way.

Although I miss things, want things... I don't need things.  I'd like things, sure.  But life has taught me... if you need it, you'll be disappointed when you don't get it.  If you like it, and you get it, well... it doesn't hurt as bad if it had gone the other way.

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