Today I am feeling the pendulum swing the other way. I was on a high for a while, an extreme one. The military mindset kicked in, my delusions began, and I became unmanageable.
Now I'm back to being the guy who was depressed for three years. Who could barely manage to clean, who had no patience to learn (or desire to learn for that matter) how to manage his life.
I hate this.
I truly... despise it.
I hate the highs... but I despise the lows.
Now I'm forced to stay in one place... to avoid swinging one way or the other... and I'll probably sleep more... and do less... and gain weight... and lose ambition.
Maybe to everyone around me... these lows are more manageable. But not to me.
Not by a longshot.
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